Yesterday at 4:30pm, I took a call from Brett's transplant consultant.
My heart sank as I heard that his transplant has been put back two weeks.
Apparently there has been a problem with our lovely German donor.
She has been unable to give stem cell (cells are taken from the blood)
and has bravely opted for bone marrow harvest.
(So love this woman I will never meet.)
This means the procedure needs to be performed in a hospital rather than a donor centre.
Basically, the logistics, organisation and timing of that, means Brett cant start conditioning today as planned.
Disappointed is an understatement.
As much as Brett doesn't want the transplant at all (who would go into chemotherapy and total body irradiation singing whoopee) he knows its his only chance.
So today I am totally at a loss with what to do with myself or help the members of my family. All the adrenalin and nerves that had been building up for today, now have no place to go.
I feel jittery, depressed and just weird.
I was so looking forward to getting this transplant started. You cant finish something until you've started it.
I am dreading the transplant and what it could do to my darling son, and I am also dreading trying to function and cope as 'normally' as possible for our daughter.
The has been fighting and tears in the house today, I have tried to point out that the kids are just expressing how bad they both feel in the only way they know how, acting out.
I just wish I could join them. I want to throw myself on the floor and kick and scream 'it's not fair'.
But I cant so I had better go clean something.
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